Acid's House of WTF

Norman Bates is in the nuthouse, and is befriended by the Alex West, another patient in the cell next to him. When Norman dies Alex is stunned to learn that Norman left the Bates Motel to him.

Initially it aired as a pilot for a potential anthology television show where each week people would check in to the Bates Motel and spooky (read: stupid) stuff would happen to them. Due to low ratings and lack of interest the idea was shelved.

Featuring: Bud Cort, Robert Picardo, Lori Petty and Jason Bateman.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrBxCSdw7Ns

I’m running out of Facebook feed updates because I keep blocking/hiding people who are blaming Obama for everything, tell me God is great and that I should thank him every day, or tell me to join their Facebook Group as a show of support for “victims-of-something”. Fuck all y’all.

This comes from a conversation that I had with a friend trying to explain to her what Insect Armageddon is all about. 
——
Michy said: what kind of bugs are there?

Acid said: Ants, spiders, wasps, ticks, mantis’ and bomber spiders.

Michy said: i love mantises

Michy said: wait what the hells a bomber spder?

Acid said: They are these big ass spiders that shoot ticks at you. When one appears on the bg he is totally the primary kos target.

Michy said: and the robots?

Acid said: Hectors. Only two types: Baby Hector and Daddy Hector.

Michy said: and they are called Hector….why?

Acid said: No idea.

Michy said: lol

Michy said: tjhink I’d like it?

Acid said: Insect Armageddon?

Michy said: yeah

Acid said: Hell yeah. It’s fun, silly, over the top incredible fun.

Acid said: I’m sure I could find a role for you in it.

Michy said: role?

Acid said: Yeah. The game has 4 roles you can play. You can be Armor, which is basically your tank character who has the most ap and will do the most dps in a fight. He also has a great aoe attack that can buy him some much needed extra time  -but triggering that causes a terrible cd.

Acid said: Then there’s the Jet which fights vertically. Operates as recon and cc. Fast little shit too, but weak shields.

Acid said: Trooper (that’s what I play) is your heals. No specials. All around great starting character for a noob.

Acid said: Tactical is gonna aggro. Fast enough to outrun most things while his skill has good dot against enemies.

Michy said: i only understand half of what you just said.

Michy said: hello?

Acid said: Sorry. I’m here. I’m just a little disappointed.

Michy said: :( sorry but i cont know what those words mean.

Michy said: *dont

Acid said: No no, I’m disappointed in myself.

Michy said: Why?

Acid said: A lot of the words I used are Warcraft terminology.

Michy said: LOL! NERD!

An omnipresent force told Abraham to show his faith in God by sacrificing his son Isaac on Mount Moriah. He almost went through with it until an Angel stopped him at the last second.

Moses was given 10 moral imperatives up on Mount Sinai. 10-rules that someone omnipresent force told him. These 10-rules have guided people for years, and caused them to judge themselves constantly.

Harold Camping predicted that the Rapture would happen on May 21, 2011 because, again, an omnipresent force told him so. He recanted the May 21^st date, stating that it was a spiritual judgment day and the real Rapture will happen in October 2011.

Two of these stories are considered spiritually enlightening. Two of these men had their faiths tested through an omnipresent force. Two of these men act as beacons of hope in times of strife.

The other one is just a crazy, old man that doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

How is this fair?

If a man walked up to someone today and said “A magnificent voice called me from the Heavens and told me to sacrifice my son, but just as I was about to an Angel told me that it was the thought that counts” that person would be laughed at, put into an institution or even potentially put on trial.

A woman could tell someone that a booming voice from the sky gave her a credo to live by, no one would pay her any nevermind.

 ——

If the Rapture had happened, hell, if anything ‘heavenly’ happened, on May 21 Harold Camping would be considered a prophet right now. People would have updated their Facebooks and Twitters with speak of how holy that man must be to have a direct line to God – kind of like Commissioner Gordon has a direct line to Batman.

But nothing happened, and he’s just a crazy old man. People popped their faith bus in reverse and started spouting out, “Only God knows when the true end of times are.” People who once supported this man were now turning their backs on him. That’s a great message. The golden rule, unless you make me look stupid then fuck you.

But because no one can truly figure out if the Bible is based on fact, tall-tales or if it’s just “Aesop’s Fables: The Violent Edition” we are supposed to believe that Moses talked to a burning bush, and that Noah built a boat large enough for 2-pair of the at least 1.5-million animal species because the omnipresent voice told him to.

But an omnipresent voice can tell a radio show host that the end times are coming, but when it doesn’t well, shit, that man is clearly a fucking loon.

The Hypocrisy of Religion.

Imagine someone went into a coma in 1996 and woke up in the present day – but instead of trying to get acclimated to today’s environment they just went around believing that it was still the mid-90s.

He’d talk to you about “Friends” and how they hope Ross and Rachel get together. He’d call you butthead. He’d still be supporting a New Kids on the Block hairdo.

He’d just keep talking on and on and on and on about how great the mid-90s were.

At first you wouldn’t mind. The person has been out of touch for a while, cut him some slack. But then it gets annoying. You get tired of hearing how awesome things were in the 90s.

Finally you snap and yell at him, “It’s not 1996 anymore asshole! It’s 2011. Everything that you claim is awesome and fun has been done, finished, redone and done better since you’ve been dead to the world. Shut up and get with the times.”

This is how I feel about “Duke Nukem Forever”. It’s a good game – for the mid-90s. It’s a hilarious game – for jokes that stopped being funny in the early 2000s. It’s an edgy game – in a time of games where we didn’t have “God of War”, “Grand Theft Auto 4”, “Metal Gear Solid”, etc. Whatever Duke strived to be has been done bigger and better since 1996.

- DNF is ugly. There’s no two ways to look at it. Duke is trying to compete in an age of hyper-realism in video games. If this is the game that was supposed to come out in 98-00 it would have looked great, but its blocky last-generation graphics are beyond dated. DNF is really out at a bad time since we were just given L.A. Noire.

- In a world where we can go nearly everywhere in a game, the invisible walls and linear gameplay in DNF cripple any sort of exploration you would want to do in Duke’s world.

- The comic attitude in Duke is lost. The gamers who found that entertaining in the 90s have grown up; and the gamers of today don’t even care who Duke is.

I have to salute Gearbox for getting this game to come out finally, but I have to wonder if any of the higher-ups there actually viewed any of the gameplay.

Earlier this year “Brink” was released. It was originally scheduled to be released in September, but it was pushed forward to May due to “Gears of War” being released the same month. What we then got was an unfinished, unbalanced game that isn’t worth playing; it’s barely worth being a coaster.

To me “Brink” and DNF are kindred spirits in a way. Rush out a game: it won’t be good. Take forever to release a game that has a dated look, attitude and gimmick: it won’t be good.

It took 12 years to get “Duke Nukem Forever” to come out – I think one more year in development wouldn’t have hurt it.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s kind of nice to have been able to see Duke again; I just wish it would have been on much better circumstances.

“Oh noes Duke Nukem Forever and Alice: Madness Returns aren’t 100% perfect games so says kotaku. They say it’s not amazing! What do we do?”

Shut the fuck up and play a game for fun. Like people used to. Remember those days before we let asshats tell us something is good?

Fuck you for telling me my opinion is wrong.

“…let me give you one piece of advice … fuck what everyone thinks. Fuck what everyone says. Let you drive you. Let what YOU want to do consume you. It may sound selfish but the key to finding your way is being willing to do so no matter what the cost. People are too concerned today with what they are instead of who they are. Find yourself. Be you. Fuck anyone who doesn’t like it.” - Steve “Uncle Creepy” Barton

Stop inviting me to ‘change my facebook picture to let Missouri know we’re thinking about them’. I don’t want to change my avatar slighty green to support Iran. I don’t want to change my icon to be a Rising Sun to let Japan know I’m praying for them. Fuck you. Get off your ass and actually do something instead of this pseudo-activisim bullshit.

Worst. Rapture. Ever. For the supposed end times it was surprisingly boring. No one raptured to heaven. There wasn’t a 50-foot tall Jesus walking around zapping people like Dr. Manhattan. There weren’t any zombies. There weren’t any Daleks or Cybermen. No self aware robots. There weren’t even any frickin’ dragons like in that shitty “Reign of Fire” movie.

You know, just to piss all you religious-type off-

No, we didn’t have the rapture today. Know why? Because “Macho Man” Randy Savage went to heaven and beat the crap out of Jesus, then broke his fingers so he couldn’t press the button. OH YEAH! DIG IT!